thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
