I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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