If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
