If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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