I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
