Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
