I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
