I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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