so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
