Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
