I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
