I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
