Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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