I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
