then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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