where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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