so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
