Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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