I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
