Define "chronic" masturbator.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
