hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
