even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
jump out the window naked night went bad
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
