So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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