I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
