He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
