Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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