Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
third nipple confirmed
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
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