i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
