i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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