So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
pray to the hookup gods
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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