I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Someone signed my nipple.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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