Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
