You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
