Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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