Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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