I'm really into asian looking animals
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
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