My room smells like vodka and shame
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
