I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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