it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
