Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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