RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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