i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
