I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
