that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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