if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I had to cum in my sink.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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