I'd wear matching sweaters with you
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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