she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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