I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
