I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
