somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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