Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize