oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
