i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
