Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
