Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
