Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
