hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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