That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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