I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
