some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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