Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
