I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
